It’s easy to have a misunderstanding with someone if your fundamental understanding of a word is different. For example, for some people, the word “lazy” is neutral. For them, it’s not a moral judgment; it is just a descriptor of a person or a mood. For other people, it has a very negative connotation and feels like a harsh judgment of a person’s worth or work ethic. Can you imagine someone meaning “lazy” in a playful or neutral way, but the person receiving it feels judged and disliked?
What about the word “reserved”? It can be neutral for some, but what if you grew up in a family where you were chastised for being serious because everyone else was more playful? “Reserved” would probably feel more negative than neutral in that case.
Or what about “average”? It’s about as neutral a descriptor as you can find, but to someone who was pressured to be a high achiever, “average” might feel like an insult.
All I know is that we all experience life differently, and we all carry baggage from those past experiences, and some of that baggage informs the way that we view and use language. And I guess my point is that if everyone makes an effort to understand the people they communicate with, to learn about different cultures, to try to understand each other, to give the benefit of the doubt, maybe there’ll be fewer misunderstandings and more common ground.