I Can’t Picture Things in My Head

I’m in my mid 40s, and a few years ago I discovered that I couldn’t picture things in my head the way most people do. In fact, I thought that when people said they could picture something, it was a figure of speech. For most of my life, I didn’t realize that some people actually see pictures when they imagine things!

The term “Aphantasia” was coined in 2015 by Neurologist Adam Zeman, after he consulted a classicist friend. The name is derived from the word “phantasia”, which means imagination or “mind’s eye”, and the prefix “a”, which means without. My first reaction to the etymology of the word was, “But I have imagination, I just don’t have pictures!” Then I dug a little deeper and found that Aristotle’s concept of phantasia was the inspiration for the word, and his definition was “phantasia is that in virtue of which an image occurs in us”, found in De Anima Book III. Ok, so the word aphantasia is pretty perfect, I admit.

Yesterday, I found myself thinking about aphantasia for some reason. I even had a conversation with my husband about it. He is the complete opposite of me and sees vivid imagery when he visualizes. It’s funny how two people can share a life and, in certain ways, experience it so differently.

When I imagine things or “picture” them, I describe them in my head. I think about whatever it is and describe it to myself (but I don’t actually hear it) using detailed descriptions. For example, if I were asked to picture an apple, in my head I would describe it like this:

“It’s a fruit, sometimes red, sometimes green or yellow. My favorite apple is a Gala, so it’s a lighter red, muted, with streaks of yellow or dots. It is short and round, with no stem attached. The light hits it and forms a shape, much like a window on it. The window of light bends with the curve of the apple. It doesn’t smell like anything unless I bite it. If I bite it, the flesh is white and crunchy. I can hear it crunch as I take a bite. The taste is sweet, and the skin is thin. After I taste the apple, I can smell the faint scent of the apple. Now the apple has a bite mark in it. I can see the bite marks.”

Basically, I write about it my head with invisible and silent words.  When I actually sit down to write about something, I just start typing what I’m saying in my brain, and when I visualize something, I just don’t type it as I think it.

I wondered if there is a connection where people who have aphantasia also enjoy writing more, but I couldn’t find a known or proven connection other than a couple of Reddit posts. It’s possible that there are just not enough studies about this phenomenon to say for sure. I do think that it has something to do with my love of words, maybe not, but it does intrigue me.

I did find that people with aphantasia are often more logical thinkers. They tend to have advanced analytical and abstract reasoning skills and have strong pattern recognition. A lot of people with aphantasia gravitate toward STEM fields. I think that I do these things well, and I absolutely love logic based games.

Another skill linked to people with aphantasia is lateral thinking, which is basically stepping outside of  traditional problem solving techniques to a more creative style. Out of the box thinking or creative problem solving are two ways lateral thinking can be described. This style of thinking gives people the freedom to make unexpected connections. People who think laterally like to challenge assumptions, even their own.

I’m definitely a lateral thinker. There’s a game that I love and used to play called MindTrap, where lateral reasoning is required to solve the problem in the scenario, and I was good at it, very good at it. I don’t just experience this in games, though, it’s just how I normally think. I do wonder if these skills are developed more because people with aphantasia need to compensate for the lack of visualization, or if it’s because our brains are just different.

The weirdest thing about having aphantsia is that I can have very vivid dreams, I just can’t seem to access the part of my brain that forms pictures on demand.

Do you have aphantasia? What’s “visualization” like for you whether you do or don’t have it? Experiences seem to be on a spectrum and I am fascinated by it.

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