I love Christmas, I always have. I love the joy, family time, food, lights, music…basically all of the things associated with Christmas. I adore cheesy Christmas romance movies and family Christmas movies alike. I live for Christmas music, whether it’s Christian, traditional, just for kids, or even goofy ones like Mr. Grinch or I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.
As a kid, teen, and even as a young adult, Christmas was light and fun. I used to wear a Santa hat and hum Christmas carols leading up to Christmas Day. There was this magic that danced throughout December that made even the most mundane things special. Christmas was only full of joy back then.
I was lucky to have the most wonderful people who did what they could to make Christmas special. They made sure we knew we were celebrating Jesus, but also made room for Christmas magic. We’d bake birthday cakes for Jesus, make Christmas cookies, and my Mama always let us have snacky foods on Christmas. And she made the best hot chocolate! She worked so hard to make sure we had a good Christmas. My Granny and Papa put up Christmas lights, held a huge family gathering on Christmas Eve, and we’d bake with Granny. I could go on and on about all the wonderful memories. One thing Granny would always say is, “We’re making memories,” and we were.
When my boys were little (they’re adults now), I did what I could to pass the Christmas magic onto them. I did my best to make their season memorable by baking with them, watching Christmas movies, and by trying to choose gifts I thought they’d love. One of my favorite traditions is going to look at Christmas lights with my boys. We started it back when the oldest was little. He had a hard time settling on Christmas night, so we would load up in jammies with hot chocolate and ride around looking at lights until he was asleep. I look forward to this tradition every year, and I hope this one never ends.
Christmas is still my favorite time of year. I look forward to remembering and celebrating my savior. I enjoy spending time with my kids. I still love the food, the music, the love that’s shared. I feel the joy deep in my heart, but there’s also another side to Christmas now that I’m older.
Christmas now also includes sorrow and grief. I miss so many people that are no longer with us, people who meant the world to me, people I loved and still love so very much. There’s a hole in the season that their laughter once filled, and no amount of Christmas cookies or carols will fill it.
For some people, Christmas can be heartbreakingly lonely. Some people are truly alone in life or on the holidays, and there are people who have others all around them, but they still feel all alone. I want to hold space for you if you’re feeling lonely in this season of your life. I don’t feel that loneliness right now, but there have been times when I did. I see you, and you are loved.
If you’re lucky enough to have no idea what I’m talking about, cherish this time in your life. Soak up every second of every moment that you have with your loved ones, making memories.
If you know the heartbreak that is the duality of Christmas, you’re not alone, and your feelings aren’t wrong. Allow yourself to feel without judgment, just make room for both the joy and the grief. Give them both space and honor them.